Donuts and Ibuki
by karatedanceandsing
Summary: This actually happened to me. The Ultimates are on a road trip and decide to stop for donuts...of course, they send the smartest Ultimate in to get the goods. Should I continue?
1. Chapter 1

How was this a good idea, again? Akane sighed for the fifteenth time as she restlessly paced the parking lot.

"See, this would've been avoided if you all just let me cook breakfast for you!"

"Teru, no. We need to get on the road." Hajime rubbed his temple in irritation.

The group of teens had been on an exhausting road trip for a few days. Some of them were so tired, they forgot where they were heading (Namingly Akane…). Mahiru had already gone through who knows how many rolls of film, and Chiaki had pretty much beat every game in the book. Sonia had been playing with Gundham's hamsters most of the time, which meant Kazuichi spent most of the time crying silently.

Now, I could go into deep detail about what each and every one of the Ultimates had been doing to waste their time…but this author only wanted to go with what was obvious…blame my laziness if anything…

Back to the story…I digress. It was around ten in the morning, and everyone had been getting hungry. Now, one would think that they would be polite about it. Silently try to hide their growling stomachs and wait for someone else to say something. Keep in mind. These are the Ultimates. Some of them had such huge appetites that they were often thinking, "Manners? What manners?"

So, at some unknown hour…probably around five AM, Teruteru asked if they could stop so that he could cook them a full five-course meal. Of course, they were on a schedule, and Hajime, though thoroughly tempted, had to refuse. After several pleas by Teruteru, Fuyuhiko finally snapped. He grabbed the chef and slammed him against the car window. I could go into detail of the terrifying events that went down in those cruel five minutes, but then again, this author is either too lazy, or wants to keep this below an M rating. All I can tell you is that Teruteru stopped talking.

Eventually, Hajime became so hungry, he couldn't focus on the road. He asked if anyone else was hungry, or if he was just going crazy. He knew he wasn't crazy…heck, he was forced to sit next to Nagito, whose luck scored him shotgun. Well, he could tell the others were hungry, too. Especially since the second he asked, the rest of the group shouted, "YES!" So fast and loud that he wondered how that was possible. Unfortunately, they were caught in the middle of nowhere, so he was forced to follow the road while withstanding the nonstop whining of the more mild-mannered teenagers.

Now, we finally catch up to the present, where the van was halted in the parking lot of a small-scale grocery store. The horrible idea mentioned in the beginning was to go in and get a few dozen donuts. No, that wasn't the dumb part. The dumb part was deciding to let the Ultimate Rockstar, Ibuki Mioda, grab the goods. The others walked out to stretch their legs, get a breath of fresh air, and other things of the sort. Yet somehow, it never occurred to them to go with her. Well, it also never occurred to them that Ibuki would need help with such a simple task.

After fifteen minutes, Sonia was the first to comment. "Um, should we check on Ibuki? Is she alright?"

"Come to think of it, she hasn't been back in a while." Chiaki added.

"You're absolutely right, Miss Sonia! We should check on her!" Kazuichi agreed blindly.

Mahiru rolled her eyes and pulled out her cell phone. She texted Ibuki to ask if she was alright.

Meanwhile, inside the store, Ibuki shifted her weight to her other foot for the umpteenth time. She furrowed her eyebrows, seemingly concentrating way too hard for someone standing in front of the bakery section. Passerby's stared curiously at and guided their kids away from the overly focused musician. I mean, who couldn't? Her hair resembled something out of a delirious four-year-old's nightmare. Her outfit resembled a botched piece of cotton candy. To top it all off, she seemed to be thinking way too hard about donuts.

Finally, Ibuki snapped out of her trance when she felt her phone buzz. She stared intently at the screen, slowly reading the text she just received.

"R U OK?"

Mahiru looked down at her phone and called out, "Hey, guys, she texted back!"

"Well, what did it say?" Nekomaru asked as the others crowded around the phone.

Mahiru said nothing. Finally, Nagito read the text for the others who couldn't see the phone (poor, short Fuyuhiko).

"What's a cronut?"

They stared at the screen in utter silence. Mahiru texted back, "A donut and croissant in one food." They soon dispersed from the phone, waving dismissively. That's what was holding her up. Wow.

A few seconds later, another text came back saying, "OHHHHH Ibuki understands now!"

Even in texts, she still talks in the third person? Double wow. Well, Mahiru thought that was the end of it, but Ibuki sent ANOTHER text.

"There's no cronuts."

Mahiru sighed. "Just grab a few glazed then."

The texts stopped. Thank goodness. Mahiru walked over to talk to Hiyoko while they waited.

In the store, Ibuki had obtained the breakfast, and was headed to the checkout. Well, that was until she saw how long the line was. She fell into deep thought again…well, not really. She just looked like she was thinking hard while the inside of her brain was pretty much television static…maybe a tumbleweed or two. Finally, a rusty gear clicked and a dim lightbulb flickered on in her head. She sauntered over to the express checkout, and placed everything on the scale. The second she finished doing just that, she froze.

…Now what?

Eventually, she settled on pressing random buttons until she did something significant.

"You have selected—Por favor, coloque el—Select cash or…" This went on for some time, until a timid cashier came up to her and offered some helpful advice. Actually scan the items. Ibuki did as she was told, and to her surprise, it indeed did work. Once she ended up scanning all the items, she stood, dumbfounded. Now what? Wait…if memory serves, there was a button in the middle of the screen that said in bold, red letters, "PAY". She anxiously pressed the button, expecting the machine to blow up or something.

"Please insert cash or credit."

Now THAT, Ibuki knew how to do. But…where does she put it in? She searched the surrounding area for a few minutes, until she finally found a slot to put her money in. All she needed was the money. She opened her duct-tape wallet, only to find a dead moth. A dead moth, but no cash. She froze.

This time, it was Kazuichi's phone that rang. He picked up the phone reluctantly. How was it possible, even for Ibuki, to make getting donuts so difficult?

"What now, Ibuki?"

"Umm…Ibuki has no money."

"You're kidding."

"Mm-mm! Not kidding!"

"Just…hold on, I'll be in in a second."

Hajime was only minding his own business. What did he do to deserve this? Kazuichi silently placed a hand on the exasperated peer's shoulder form behind. Hajime jumped a little, but then turned around to find the mechanic.

"Ugh, don't scare me like that! What do you want, Kazuichi?"

"Ibuki has no money…and neither do I…" He whimpered.

"Why are you always asking ME to bail you out?" Hajime whimpered back.

"I can pay for it!" Nagito volunteered.

Oh, great. Mr. Crazy McHope-Boner wants to play the nice guy again. Well, might as well let him. At least it'll get him out of the tight situation he was in.

"AWW, thanks, Nagito! You're a real life saver!" Of course, Kazuichi was Nagito's buddy NOW.

"Yes…t-thank you..!" Mikan wailed.

"You guys don't have to thank a piece of trash like me!" Whoop, there it is. Hajime knew that was coming. Well, now was not the time to reminisce on Nagito's predictable nature. Hajime was hungry!

Nagito left with Kazuichi and came out with Ibuki, and several boxes of baked goods.

"How…" Fuyuhiko placed a hand on Ibuki's shoulder.

"HOW CAN ONE PERSON SCREW UP GETTING DONUTS SO BADLY?!"

"OWW! You're hurting meeee!" Ibuki whined.

"That doesn't matter! What matters is that the FOOD is here!" Akane put extra emphasis on the word 'food' as she two apart and grabbed the donuts.

"Heel, baby gangsta!" She shouted, opening the box of donuts.

"HEY!" Fuyuhiko growled. To no avail, Akane ignored said baby gangsta and shoved about five donuts in her mouth at once.

"Hey! Save some for us!" Hiyoko shouted, snatching the box from the gymnast.

Hajime felt like a shepherd watching over a field of sheep high on LSD…or something like that. "Hey, guys. Let's get back in the van!"

After Hiyoko and Fuyuhiko had finished battling over the sweetest looking donut, the road was back into full swing.

"Well, that was quite the adventure…" Nagito muffled through a bagel.

"You bet!" Kazuichi agreed. He could only agree with Nagito because he paid for the bagels!

"Hmph. My Four Dark Devas of Destruction were able to get some fresh air. Nothing else was of significance." Gundham always had to disagree with Kazuichi, didn't he? Besides, all he cared about were his little hamsters.

"You have to admit, Gundham, it was fun!" Sonia smiled. "I've never had the chance to be on a road trip with such great friends!"

Gundham lifted his scarf to cover his blush. "Well…I suppose it wasn't all that bad…"

"Eh, I guess it wasn't that bad…" Fuyuhiko shrugged, muffled with the sweetest donut.

Hiyoko pouted. She had nothing to say if things didn't go her way. Peko was silent as well, but definitely not for the same reasons.

"Hey, I got some funny pictures of Hiyoko and Fuyuhiko duking it out!" Mahiru offered.

"Man, I wonder if we can do that again!" Nekomaru laughed boisterously.

"NO! Next time, I cook!" Teruteru dared to open his mouth again.

"Don't make me get the duct tape out of the trunk!" Fuyuhiko muffled.

Hajime couldn't hope but smile. Maybe this road trip wasn't to excruciating…


	2. Sleepless in the middle of nowhere

A/N: You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to figure out the room swapping…

It was getting late. Hajime could tell. It became overtly evident when Ibuki accidentally hit her head on the window, and bolted up, shouting, "I'M AWAKE!"

Two hours or so later, at around 11:30, Hajime pulled into the parking lot of a standard hotel.

"Huh…? Whaddarwe doin'?" Kazuichi slurred, half-awake.

"We need to sleep…outside the car." Hajime responded.

Nobody seemed to object, thank goodness. Everyone grabbed their suitcases and filled up the lobby. However, right before they could enter, they were stopped by the mom of the group, "Togami".

"Alright, we need to set some ground rules!" He shouted. "Same-sex roommates only." He eyed Teruteru suspiciously, who was starting to cry silently.

"Not too much noise! Other people are trying to sleep!" He continued.

"Says you…" Akane muttered under her breath.

Ignoring the sharp remark, he still continued. "Last rule, don't stay up all night! You may sleep in the car, but you may not sleep all day."

With everyone muttering something along the lines of "Yes, mother…" The Ultimates trudged up to their rooms, calling people to be their roommates. They all had one thing in mind.

We are never going to follow those rules.

So, when everyone settled in their rooms, some were preparing to switch roommates as soon as "Togami" fell asleep. However, that would be tough to determine. That was why Teruteru offered to room with him…in exchange for being in on the room swapping.

As soon as "Togami" was asleep, Teruteru sent out a text. Then the swapping started. Fuyuhiko, Chiaki, Kazuichi, Mikan, Teruteru, Ibuki, and Nekomaru showed up in the middle of the hallway. They happily exchanged cards, (excluding Mikan, who was probably threatened) and went to their new rooms with their suitcases.

KNOCK, KNOCK

"Enter," Peko said indifferently, desperately trying to contain a small smile.

Fuyuhiko entered the room, setting down his suitcase, with a short, "Hey."

"Hello, Young Master." Peko crossed her legs, sitting up.

Normally, Fuyuhiko would abruptly shush her angrily. However, he was extremely tired of socializing. Besides, it wasn't like anyone else was around. He only shot her a funny look and sat down in the bed next to hers. He turned on the television and began to watch a marathon of "Cops".

KNOCK, KNOCK

"Come in." Hajime called. In all actuality, he didn't really know who was going into his room, and he honestly didn't care as long as it wasn't Nagito.

"Hey. Hajime." Said a familiar voice. Hajime's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

It was Chiaki. Could he be any luckier? Not to mention the fact that Chiaki was the only person that he could tolerate, she was also always tired, so he wouldn't have to worry about being kept up at night.

After she set her things down, Chiaki laid down in the other bed and smiled.

"Well, goodnight, Hajime."

"Goodnight, Chiaki."

…

…

Bipbipbipbip pewpewpew tiptaptiptap BWEOW-

"Chiaki, what are you doing?!"

"Oh, sorry." Chiaki turned down the volume on her GameGirl, not breaking her concentration. The tapping of her fingers and clicking of buttons didn't change, however, and Hajime knew with that it was going to be a VERY long night.

BANG, BANG

Nekomaru was happy to get away from Nagito, thank goodness, and had arrived at whatever room that he had the key for. He opened the door, not knowing what to expect, and saw Akane on the floor, munching on a piece of meat.

"Where did you get that?!" Nekomaru asked in overdramatic horror.

"I have my ways." She grinned, mouth full as she pointed to a bag with a note on it. Investigating the note, he saw Teruteru's signature on it along with a thanks to the gymnast.

"What did you have to do for Teruteru to get on HIS good side?! Point to where he touched you!" Nekomaru immediately went up in arms.

"Relax, health teacher. I just got somethin' for him."

"What did you get him?"

"A tube of cardboard. Who knows what he wants with it, and who cares? As long as I got my meat, I'm happy!"

Nekomaru cringed at the thought of what kind of horrible acts could be carried out with that tube of cardboard. This was Teruteru we were talking about. Putting that aside (as best he could, at least), Nekomaru crawled into one of the beds and indifferently turned on the television.

Knock, knock.

The quiet rapping on the door filled Nagito with curiosity. He answered the door to find Mikan half hyperventilating in fear.

"Oh, hello, Mikan. What are you doing here?" He started off politely.

"U-Um…I thought you knew…w-w-we were swapping r-rooms…" She explained timidly.

"Oh, so THAT'S where Nekomaru went. That makes sense…" he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't tell youuu!" She sobbed.

"Nothing to be sorry about! Come on in!" It was a good idea not to freak Mikan out with his true nature…it was too early in the night…well, at this point, morning. It was a little past midnight.

Setting those pointless thoughts out of the way, Nagito stepped out of Mikan's way, allowing her to walk in. She silently placed her things in the closet and awkwardly stood in the middle of the room, as if she didn't know what to do next.

"Well, goodnight." Nagito smiled warmly.

"G-Goodnight…!"Mikan almost shouted, practically running into one of the beds.

Nagito climbed into the remaining bed and turned the light out. We all know well that he wasn't sleeping, however. He was probably staring creepily into nothing, thinking about hope or something.

Knock knock knock knock-

"Kazuichi? What are you doing

here?" Sonia seemed a bit vexed at the mechanic's appearance. The latter, however, was absolutely overjoyed. His eyes lit up at the sight of his princess.

"Didn't you know? We were swapping rooms!"

Sonia looked a little disappointed. "Well, in that case, do you know where Gundham is?"

Ouch. Well. That was a swift, proper kick in the nuts. If this wasn't Sonia, Kazuichi would have returned the favor. But, since it WAS Sonia, he had no choice but to hold back his tears and say, "He chose not to participate."

Well...it technically wasn't...NOT true...

"Then I suppose I have no choice. Please make yourself at home."

No...choice? Double ouch. Kazuichi dragged his heels towards one of the beds with a defeated whimper.

"Um...Kazuichi? If you do not mind...that is my bed..."

"Really? What makes you say that?"

"Well, for one, my daytime dress is on the foot of this bed."

It was at this moment Kazuichi realized that Sonia was wearing a slightly more comfortable looking nightgown, and the room reeked of perfume and hair products. Girls. Go fig. He apologetically climbed out of the bed and into the other. Sonia turned the light out, bidding a swift "goodnight" before trying to sleep as fast as she could. The faster this night went by, the better. Kazuichi, on the other hand, was trying to soak up the experience as much as possible.

KNOCK, KNOCK

Teruteru knew where he was going. He didn't mind. At all. He waited with a smile on his face the whole time. He heard several loud crashes from the other side before the door finally opened.

"Ibuki is here!" The musician shouted. She was panting slightly and her hair was an even bigger mess than usual. The second she saw Teru, she shut the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is the only place I have to go!" He defended.

Silence followed, and finally, Ibuki opened the door again. "Your story has touched Ibuki's heart!"

Taking that as an invitation, Teruteru scattered into the room, and slithered underneath the bed sheets.

Well, not long after the lights went out, the speakers went on. How did Ibuki bring her guitar in the hotel without anyone noticing? Your guess is as good as mine. That aside, Ibuki started playing the loudest, most obnoxious, most scream-ified song she knew…either that or she was just screaming and playing random notes.

Teru knew better than to criticize the work of the Ultimate Musician. Besides, if he berated her work, he'd have no chance of strengthening their relationship. Ibuki was just that kind of person.

BANGBANGBANG

Now, you thought it was a stupid scene transition, but it was me, Dio! The loud knocking was on Ibuki's door, and Teruteru was the one to answer the door to a furious old lady who was shouting at him to stop that awful noise. Ibuki peeked her head around the corner, still strumming her guitar, and asked who was there.

"YOU!" The old lady shouted, and proceeded to yell at the top of her lungs.

After a threat to the police, and a lot of apologies, Ibuki had decided to turn off her speakers. Now, she was laying on the other bed, lazily dragging her hand up and down the strings. She yawned, set her guitar down, and turned the light out.

Teruteru looked over to Ibuki. Who knew she slept with her guitar? Well…he kind of saw that coming.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled stupid transition.

Ring, Ring.

…Yeah, that's right, it's not knocking on a door this time.

Gundham picked up his phone, and angrily growled, "Fuyuhiko. You startled my Four Dark Devas of Destruction. What could possibly be so important?"

"Yeah, your hamsters can wait. We have a problem. You need to go to Togami's room."

"Why would I do that?"

"The author sucks at math. In the end, you have to room with Togami."

Yeah, I suck at math. Fuyuhiko's right. So, sue me. I'm also too lazy to finish this conversation. Or…maybe there were just too many curse words and threats. In the end, Gundham ended up leaving for "Togami"'s room.

When he got there, "Togami" was waiting there for him.

"I thought you had gone to the realm of dreams."

Rolling his eyes at Gundham's crazy talk, "Togami" motioned for Gundham to enter the room. The second Gundham was situated, the light went out, "Togami" declaring that it was well past the recommended time to go to bed. Now, Gundham may claim to be some sort of higher being, or whatever, but he knew better to challenge the mom of the group. He laid down, and smothered his face in his scarf.

…

…

…

"Gundham?"

"Yes?"

"Get your hamster out of my pillowcase."

Raising his arms, Gundham let out a sharp call, "Cham-P! Get back here!"

The fat hamster scattered out of said pillowcase and into Gundham's scarf. It then promptly fell asleep with the others.

Well, we've reached the part of the story where there are no more cheesy knocking transitions. We now zoom in on two girls who decided not to participate in this chaos. Mahiru and Hiyoko had long fallen asleep…well, at least Mahiru had. It was about three in the morning at this point, and Hiyoko couldn't sleep. Of course, nothing sleeps when Hiyoko doesn't sleep.

"Move over."

The photographer made some unintelligible noise. "Mrrrhrrmmuuuughhh."

Still, to Hiyoko's surprise, Mahiru moved over. As long as she could sleep, she would move over off a cliff…at least then she'd be permanently asleep.

The next morning, they all met in the lobby, most of them still exhausted…Mahiru even more so than the others.

"Did everyone sleep well?" Sonia yawned.

"Did you know Hiyoko sleeps like a starfish?"

All eyes shot towards the photographer, then the dancer, who was energetically eating a bag of gummy bears. At seven in the morning.

"Um, are you going to explain?" Fuyuhiko growled.

"She insisted on sleeping in my bed. I fell out of the bed and ended up sleeping on the floor for four hours. When I tried to crawl back in, I got kicked out again."

"Why didn't you just sleep in the other bed?" Nekomaru asked.

"…Shut up."

As the other hotel guests watched gleefully as the Ultimates left, there was already an argument about who was going to drive.

"Ah, hold on a second!" Nagito smiled, pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket. "We wrote down who would take turns driving daily before we left. Let's see…today's Mahiru's turn to drive-"

"I…don't think it's a good idea to let Mahiru fall asleep at the wheel…" Hajime interrupted. They agreed to let Akane drive while Mahiru slept in the back, while the red-haired girl would take the gymnast's shift the next day. And with this, they were on the road again.

A/N: Um…the room swapping thing fried my brain…


End file.
